Monday, September 28, 2009

Shit Happens

Omg...its only day three and boy do we have a ton of great stories already.  Minus a slight delay leaving Mpls, our flight went pretty smooth.  Midnight dinner, rise and shine breakfast and then in the Amsterdam airport where we had our first celebrity sighting.  At our gate...riding on our plane to Munich was Entourage's, Adrien Grenier!!!  After pretty much staring a hole through his head at the gate, I stalkishly planned on asking him to take a photo with me at the baggage claim at Munich...but by the time we ended up getting to baggage claim, he was gone.  However, on our flight to Munich, we were handed Red Bull-sized Heineken's...which Bridget deliriously nicknamed them "Tinykens".  Bridget's baggage got lost en route...which made getting into town a bit slower.  FINALLY get to our hotel where we went out for a German dinner which for Bridget consisted of SIX Sausages!!

So yesterday, our first full day in Munich was off the hinges.  We started the day trying to get money at all of the unopened banks.  Nice planning on our part, when we finally got some moola...we headed of the Dachau which was the first concentration camp in Munich.  Very creepy and sad but cool to see in real life and learn more about it. 

We then ventured off to Oktoberfest...where we had an absolute blast, but it was followed up with an unfortunate series of events.  You cant make up the scenerios that occurred.  So we go to Oktoberfest and it is the size of the State Fair...with rides, a merry-go round with a bar on it...and 16 beer tents with music and liter-sized German beers.  Bridget and I went on one ride called the Star was a swing ride...except the swings were lifted up in the sky overlooking Munich....the height of a skyscraper...and let me tell you how freekin' scary that was.  With only a seatbelt and a bar...we are dangling and flying through air...and I couldn't even feel my body...let alone enjoy the awesome view. 

Okay...had enough...time for some drinks!!!  We went to the first beer tent called the Fischer Vroni...where I was hoping to find my friend Denise from Munich.  Inside...there is a stage with a band and hundreds of rows of picnic tables with reserved tables.  In order to get a have to be sitting at a picnic the only picnic table we found that had vacant seats had five guys ages 35-50 from Lucerne, Switzerland.  The spoke a little we chatted with them while drinking our Liter Dark Beers!  What a riot the beer tent was...there were a few songs that were chanted every half hour that everyone sang (except us becuz we didnt know the words)...and lots of cheers-ing and German dancing.  We got some great video clips from this...that we'll have to post later. 

Three liters of beer each...and it was time to close down the tent.  Bridget and Patti had been running around I ended up locating Patti...but Bridget is no-where in site...we looked around and couldn't find her so we figured she would turn up outside.  When we didn't find her at either exit area of the tent...we tried to go back in the tent and look for her, but the bartenders wouldnt let us back was closed.  We figured she would have to figure out her way home....even though she was never navigating us...and she always thinks we are lost or headed the wrong direction.  Patti and I...and a 50-year old guy from Switzerland who thought he was coming with us...walked to the Tram Station.  At the stoplight, we look over and see Bridget who is stumbling just following the crowds of people.  YAY...we found her...but she was in worse condition than we thought!!!

On our half-hour tram ride home...Bridget first is laying on me...and then gets up and lays flat on her back on the floor of the tram.  Me and the local college guys tried to pick her of them even got off at our stop...just to help her off the tram because she wasn't interested in moving.  We get home and 50 year old creepo is still with us for some unknown reason and our room key is lost.  We get a new key and Bridget goes up to the room first.  I get upstairs shortly after and brush my teeth and go to bed while Patti tells creepo to please leave the premises of our hotel...which he did.  Phew!!!

Two hours go by and all of the sudden I hear Bridget WAILING...balling...and talking like a five-year-old mental patient!  She is crying saying "Someone went poopie on my bed!  The is poopie on the floor...someone went poopie!!"  Patti told her to shut the f--- up and she didn't listen...and kept wailing and saying the same thing over and over.  Finally...I got to witness a Jerry Springer-style all out brawl!  Patti starts punching Bridget...and Bridget is grabbing her neck scratching.  Then Bridget runs out of the room...and steps in a big ol pile of poop in our door entrance and continues to wail and cry in the hallway yelling that there is human feces all over our room.  She starts banging on the neighbors doors in the hotel...wailing and asking for help but they are yelling at her to Shut the f___ up.  Our next door neighbor actually gets up and comes into our room so Bridget can show him the pile of poop!  Sweet.  He goes...thats poop alright.  It sure stinks.  Then all of the sudden this super scary guy with a moustache came busting in and says in an accent "if you don't shut the hell up I am calling the Polezei!!!!!"  Yikes...I am so scared I am Scooter does when I turn on the vaccum.  I offer Bridget to come and lay in my bed with me...which is slightly bigger than a cot...where I had to snuggle and console her like a five year old until she stopped crying and shut the up.  Meanwhile people are knocking on our door...and we arent answering and I wont fall asleep for two more hours I was so scared. 

Morning.  Well...needless to say the poop scent in our room was overwhelming and super sick...and Bridget kept talking about the poop in the morning and I instantly felt ill.  I opened the 5 ft by 5 ft window and puked outside the window.  I was going to do it again but noticed someone walking instead...I motioned the girls to give me the trash can...and as I am getting the can...projectile vomit went on Bridget and in the can.  I then start wheezing really bad and cant breathe...and Bridget wants to get out the video camera...rather than helping. puke noises made Patti ill and she ran to the bathroom and threw up herself.  After laying in bed trying to recover...the maid opens our door...and no less than 1 second later...she is gagging and throwing up in the joke.  She even sent other maids over to view the mess and stench!!  Embarassing.  Patti goes out there and says there was food poisoning that occurred and they told her to see reception.  Reception gave Patti cleaning supplies and hazardous waste bag to clean up the poo.  Needless to say there was still a stench after clean-up...and we are currently known in our hotel as the poopie girls!  Reception desk was making fun of us in German when we finally ended up leaving our hotel room...after laying around like piles of shits.  Literally.  We havent figured out who poopie'd in the room...but we are thinking along the lines of "you smelt it you dealt it" along with some other external forensic evidence! 

Anways...toured the city by bus today...and we are hungry now so we are off to dinner!!  Tomorrow morning we take our trip to Switzerland by train.  No more drinking for this crew!